Gratitude For Existence

When I was a kid I remember times where I would stare into a mirror at my reflection. I would see myself and wonder, how was I so lucky to be myself? This may sound weird, but I felt like I was a strawberry. I don’t know why or what specifically made me feel this way, but I think of it as sweet, juicy, and vibrant. I felt full of life, a life that I myself did not choose to live. I felt blessed to be standing there in this moment of bliss acknowledging the true miracle of my existence. It would almost bring me to tears just how beautiful I felt it all was, every breath and experience was a gift that I myself had not earned. I thank God for these moments, because I feel in part that these moments were some of the moments that I was most grounded in reality.

Every day it seems we are overwhelmed with the burden of new worries and anxieties. Our plans go to shit and we don’t get what we want. People don’t live up to our expectations and we sense the brokenness of the world around us. I think all too often we take for granted the beauty and magnificence of being alive. We complain our hot pockets are cold in the middle and our ice cream is melting. Why the fuck does it have to be raining today. My head aches and my life is shit, what’s the point of me giving a damn about anything. We have all experienced this so called monotonous sense of tiresome living as we toil along towards impending death. We see all the bad in the world and we can’t for one second stop screaming why!?! This pain tears at the core of our existence we desire love, goodness, beauty, and peace. We feel like this world isn’t what it could be, there could be justice, I could not be in pain right now, we could not be cold sitting alone on a park bench. Our soul yearns for better or more and we are unsatisfied with what is.

The universe began roughly 13.7 billion years ago with a big bang, time and space as we understand them started. Before that nothing, no time, no space, no darkness, no light, just utter nothingness. As time continued forward there was stars, galaxies, light, heat, air, and planets. Over time there was a planet formed and had water, this planet was just so perfectly placed that it could maintain life. Then millions of years ago life started with small mono-cellular beings, which lead to plants and animals; all the way to human beings. Then you were born and as you grew you discovered that you had conscience telling you what was right and wrong; you discovered you had a mind that could think and learn; you discovered you had a heart that could feel emotion; you discovered your senses with your ability to interact with the world around you. All of this was not something you chose, but it happened and it brought you here to this moment. Some may say that this just happened, we got lucky I guess. Some, like myself, would say this is a creation of an all-powerful God. However we can all say that we didn’t earn our existence, yet here we are. Not only this, but every good and enjoyable experience along with it. That great song you blasted in your car; that sweet moment when you enjoy the company of a dear friend; sitting on a couch and eating pizza while watching your favorite movie; and that moment of honesty when you feel a deep connection with another human being. There are so many small moments of pure bliss, times where we gaze at the beauty surrounding us and we are filled with awe and gratitude. When we walk next to a river and just stare at the swirling blue as it works it’s way down stream. When we sing in the shower and everything just seems right in the world. These moments are sacred and beautiful.

I once talked to a friend who had recently had a near death experience, and he was telling me what he felt about it. He said that he learned that every new day was a gift, something that he had taken for granted. That even through all the monotonous bs of everyday life he was able to enjoy the gift of another day of just being alive. Isn’t it true that so much of this life goes unappreciated, we take almost everything for granted. I want to gain this perspective, that instead of trudging along I appreciate every beautiful gift that I receive in this life. That we can’t expect life to just give us everything we want, but to see that we are already in the money. We have gotten more than we could have hoped in just existing and playing a part in this grand universe. We don’t deserve any of this, really we don’t fully understand how we got here, but its a fucking miracle that we are! So good god let us appreciate this beautiful, crazy, awe inspiring miracle that we partake of every day as we open our eyes and pour another glass of coffee.