Embracing Life’s Confusion

Since the dawn of man, mankind has been disposed to a certain confusion that we never completely escape. What is my purpose in life? What should I do now? Is this fate or am I choosing this? Why do we suffer? Why can’t we all agree on politics or religion? Why is there so much evil in this fucking world? We watch people on TV and read books from people who claim to have the all encompassing answer to our questions and problems; yet I think we never escape the sense of wonder and confusion towards the central questions in our lives. Am I enough? Why do I keep fucking up? Who am I? On some level we certainly find answers, yet I think most of the time we are still left with this doubt or confusion that never quite evades the human heart. I think this is a staple of the human condition.

When this confusion comes the question becomes do we embrace it or hide from it and push it down as far as we possibly can. Often I think we avoid this tension through self medication or pretending everything is okay and trying to ignore our feelings and just functioning through life.  Many in this postmodern age have come to the conclusion that there are no answers to these questions. Yet we scream for justice when we see those who have wronged others; we encourage love and good deeds; and we hope for progress. Our conscience reminds us of the pain we have experienced and tells us that we shouldn’t bring that upon others. Love seems to be something completely real yet shockingly inexplicable. I am one to say that truth is real and the reality of it tears at the human heart no matter how hard we try to deny it. So if truth is real and confusion is on some level inevitable how do we wrestle through our internal convictions and keep pressing on? I think we must embrace the present with a certain open mindedness that allows us to continue to learn while holding to what we believe to be true. I think asking the questions is an important part of everyone’s life and pursuing the answers is a lifelong venture. We may never fully understand everything we want to know, but at the same time isn’t that the beauty of this world. The complexity of the Universe is awe inspiring to say the least. There are so many beautiful, interesting, crazy, lovely, terrifying, saddening, wonderful, soul crushing, and euphoric things and experiences in this fucking crazy world. It’s fucking nuts. To be confused is okay it is in some way a compass to guide us towards more of the answer. To believe is not to know the truth; yet to believe there is no truth is to give up hope for progress and good; and to find the truth and wage through self doubt and opposition is heroic in a way we will never fully appreciate in this world. The fight to find real answers is a heroic quest and when you impart those to others you share with them a level of hope and joy that makes life all the more full. Doubt and confusion are deeply rooted in humanity but it gives us an incredible choice, we may find a satisfying answer that propels humanity or atleast the people around us forward towards a better existence. Don’t run from the confusion or doubt, allow yourself to ask the questions that ensnare our hearts. Talk to people about your feelings and beliefs and listen to theirs. You may disagree with them and that’s okay. As we as people are able to openly communicate we better understand ourselves and others and we connect in a meaningful way that opens doors to finding answers. You can both believe something and have doubt,;you can both share truth and continue to learn more; and you can disagree with someone on a major issue and still appreciate the good things you see in them. When you allow yourself to be confused and ask questions I think you are able to be more at ease with the world that surrounds you. Blind trust is stupid and naive, so look for evidence and ask questions.